we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I could fuck to npr.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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