but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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