I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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