I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
