i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
