How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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