you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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