Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I think I just sharted jello shots
We smell like vodka and hangover
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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