i think i scared a bird with my dick
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
