Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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