tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
