they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
