I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
