Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Randomize
