ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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