Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize