You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
