3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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