So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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