Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
