I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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