Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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