Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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