i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
