I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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