I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
