thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
