you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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