i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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