We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Randomize
