but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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