So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
