so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
