No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
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