so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
