There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Randomize
