I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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