When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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