6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
