You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
