Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
