you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
