living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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