Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize