Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
