i barfeds in our rink
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
