Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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