A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
