I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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