When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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