1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
