You don't have asthma, your pregnant
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Even my vagina gasped.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
