Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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