so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
