Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
