guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
