i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
