I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
