Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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