i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
